Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Armpits, APUSH, and Anomalies

Holy ass, it's fucking dark outside. No, seriously... this is Indiana... it's 6 PM... therefore, it's fucking pitch black. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN?! Oh, yeah... it happens because I live in the armpit of the Midwest -_-  Goddammit, this place sucks. 
ANYHOO... today was horribly horrible. Almost as horrible as Party Rock Anthem, but, let's face it... that's as horrible as auto-tune and leopard print leggings can get. So, anyway... the main reason it was horrible was because I found out that I have 4 (not the usual 3) review questions due for fucking APUSH. Now, I know you're all just DYING to find out what the hell APUSH is... so, I, being the overly fantastic diva of awesomeness that I am, am going to tell you. APUSH is like hell on Earth. In other words, it's a shortened term for "Advanced Placement United States History" class. And it is grueling. 
So, why am I taking it? Because the teacher is fucking awesome. Ms. Greeley... is probably the only woman on the planet who could be president but not make a complete ass of herself while doing so. She. Is. The. BEST. EVER. PERIOD. END OF STORY. So, that's why I'm taking it. Now, why would I be sad over the addition of one "teensy-weensy little question"? BECAUSE TO ANSWER AN APUSH QUESTION, IT IS REQUIRED THAT YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY GIVE UP YOUR SOUL AND KILL 2 DOZEN TREES IN THE PROCESS. Yes, I'm being serious. Answers to APUSH questions are typically 1-3 pages long, depending on the thickness of the Chapter they're over. APUSH questions are not just the easy kinds of questions where the stupid writers of the book just simply ask you for the events of a time period in order. OH NO. HEEEEELLLLL NO. They make you dig through the chapter... even the entire book... for just one part of a stupid question. And when you're done with that part, the question asks you for the same thing on ANOTHER dumb event. IT'S AWFUL... but having Greeley as a teacher is so fucking worth it.
Now that I'm off of THAT rampage, I'll tell you about the rest of my day (whether you like it or not). On Thursday, the choir group that I'm in (Myriads) is taking a trip to St. Mary University (or whatever the eff it's called) to sing in front of a panel of judges in order to improve our vocal talents... pshhh, hell no. Basically, St. Mary's is an excuse to get out of school for an entire day to go and tour a campus... it's pretty goddamn fun. So, I'm excited. Therefore, you should be excited. 
Also, my Espanol Dos teacher is really pregnant... I'm serious. By really pregnant, I mean REALLY PREGNANT. She gets my "Awesome Teacher" award, mainly because she dressed up as Juno for Halloween. So anyway, today, she gave our class a lecture on what to do if she goes into labor during class... THAT was sufficiently awkward. And I quote: "If I, for whatever reason, end up having a mild freak-out whilst this is happening, feel free to call the office and scream 'SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MRS. HOWARD!' just in case." ... I love her xD.
WELL... now that I'm pretty sure I've outdone myself on the caps lock button, I think it's time for me to go. I need noms... because angrily blogging about my first world problems is physically and emotionally draining. Stay classy, people of le internet. 


"GARBAGE DAY!"- Ricky Caldwell, Silent Night, Deadly Night 2.

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